Recent studies reveal that more than three-quarters of Generation Z who cover group expenses are left at least partially out of pocket, underscoring a rising trend of unresolved small debts between friends that can negatively affect relationships.
According to 76% of Gen Z, those who front money for activities like group outings or shared travel say they are not fully paid back. These missing repayments aren’t just about the money—55% say that these outstanding debts have caused strain or impacted their friendships.
The Tipping Point: When Do Friends Ask for Repayment?
Gen Z’s approaches vary widely when it comes to seeking repayment for minor debts. Some feel comfortable prompting friends over even a few dollars, while others avoid the conversation unless the amount justifies it. Henry Payne, a 21-year-old from New York City, shared that he’s asked to be paid back as little as $8.50, but won’t chase anything smaller. He’s open to sending one reminder, emphasizing, “two requests is insane.” Admitting he occasionally overlooks debts himself, Payne noted he wouldn’t mind being nudged twice if he forgot to pay someone back.
The experience is different for Kaz Jahanbini, 19, who finds it irritating to have to chase repayments since he always settles debts right away. He tries to keep his approach balanced: “keep your wallet close but your friends closer.” Nouria, a fellow student and friend of Jahanbini’s, won’t bother chasing less than $10, stressing that “every extra dollar counts” for students.
There are also differences in global perspectives. In the UK, Betsie Brooke-Taylor, 19, sets her minimum at a “fiver,” citing “every little helps.” She’s noticed Americans seem less concerned about writing off small debts and also finds settling up easier in the US thanks to apps. With over 95 million Americans now using Venmo for quick repayments, according to PayPal, she observes that in the UK, sharing bank details remains more of a hassle.
Small Sums, Big Feelings: The Social Challenge of Asking for Money Back
The main challenge for many isn’t the size of the debt, but the discomfort in asking to be repaid. Annika Violet, 19, bases her decision on pattern rather than amount; if she’s picking up the tab repeatedly, she will ask for the $5 back. She maintains that she feels no awkwardness broaching the subject and that friends should expect to pay each other back. Her friend, Hanako Stepper, feels more uncomfortable asking for money, sometimes letting the loss go to avoid embarrassment, though it leaves her feeling let down.
Financial coach Laura Pomfret warns that anxiety about appearing stingy—especially in the UK—prevents many from directly addressing unpaid debts. Pomfret’s advice is that the amount should be irrelevant if repayment matters to you. If someone habitually dodges repayment, she suggests being wary of lending to them in the future.
For some, unreliable friends present a bigger issue than the amount in question. Ella Feuille, 21, a student in New York, sets $15 as her lower limit for repayment requests, typically following up three times at most before moving on. She tends to keep track of who is less likely to repay and might have those friends pay upfront. On the other hand, Katrina Dimingot prefers an informal approach, trading turns paying for one another rather than calculating small debts each time.
Technology Eases, but Doesn’t Eliminate, the Awkwardness
Digital payment platforms such as Venmo facilitate the transfer of small sums in the US, but they haven’t eliminated the awkwardness of broaching repayment. Students and young adults factor in both cultural background and individual personality when deciding whether and how to request owed money—some favor directness, while others let minor amounts slide.
Ultimately, factors like technology, local customs, and interpersonal dynamics dictate how people deal with these delicate financial interactions. Small unpaid sums—even the cost of a coffee—are enough to cause tension, so experts recommend that directness, especially when it becomes a repeated issue, is the healthiest way forward for friendships.